Thursday, 21 November 2013: Two Hundred and Thirty Four Days Old.

Ayla had a rough night last night which saw her and I confined to the couch for most of the night.

I think it’s teething… it has to be! I can’t think of any other reason for Ayla to suddenly wake up screaming at 1.30am and refuse to resettle for nearly two hours.

Ayla was definitely looking for mummy cuddles – as soon as I put her down she would start crying – but it wasn’t until her Baby Panadol kicked in that she started to relax her little body and drift off to sleep.

But it was more like fitful napping than sleeping. Every 15 minutes or so Ayla would let out a heart-wrenching whimper that left me feeling so helpless, trying desperately to pat her little bottom and shush her back to sleep.

The other thing I struggled with was ignoring the voices in my head telling me things like “you’re spoiling her“, “once you let her sleep with you; you’ll never get her to stop“, “stay strong, she’s just testing the boundaries” and “just let her cry herself back to sleep“.

It’s crazy how self doubt is so quick to raise its ugly head! Despite KNOWING that something was wrong because Ayla had never done anything like this before, I still questioned myself.

Ayla’s wasn’t her usual happy self this morning either – she’s clingy and upset and so, so tired – but there’s still no tooth in sight!