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This time last year

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Monday, 31 March 2014: Fifty Two Weeks Old.

It’s hard to believe that this time last year I was in hospital, pacing up and down my room in the birthing ward trying to control my contractions.

Tonight, I sit with my daughter in her room while she feeds like a champ and drifts off into dreamland for the last time in her infancy.

Tomorrow Ayla will be one year old.

So much has happened in the past year that its hard to remember life before Ayla.

But at the same time it’s been the fastest twelve months of my life.

There is absolutely no way I could go back and explain to “in labour” me what to expect when 4.03am comes around and I get to hold my Baby Ayla for the first time.

There’s also no words to explain the days, weeks and months that follow because it is simply, and beautifully, a live-it-yourself experience.

I am so happy and proud that Ayla is turning one, partly because its a celebration of her life to date and partly because its only the first of so many wonderful, enriching, challenging, beautiful, enlightening and precious years to come.

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Love my Child

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Monday, 17 February 2014: Forty Six Weeks Old.

I watched the first part of a new TV series about unwed, underage mothers in the late 1960’s tonight, and within second of it finishing I went straight in to see my sleeping Baby Ayla.

Every night since Ayla’s been born I’ve crept into her room while she’s slept, kissed her on the forehead and told her I love her.

But tonight, as well as whispering the usual “sweet dreams, sleep tight” I also thanked my Baby Ayla for coming into my life.

Within seconds of her birth and within moments of meeting her, my life changed forever; in just a few, fresh breaths of air Ayla somehow managed to open my eyes to a new world, a new range of emotions, a new set of passions and to a whole new me.

Within just those first few minutes, I became somebody who would sacrifice my life for another, if only that life was hers.

Watching the TV show tonight made me feel so unbelievably lucky and grateful for the world we live in, and so thankful that I get to spend countless moments with my Ayla.

Being a mother is so much more than I ever expected. As someone with no natural maternal drive the overwhelming all encompassing love I have for my daughter takes my breath away, every day.

Every new day brings new adventures and learnings and it’s a journey I am forever, eternally grateful for.

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Paper Trail

Friday, 12 April 2013: Eleven Days Old.

I never imagined having a baby would mean such a huge paper trail!

From registering her birth and advising Centrelink, to reading about baby growth and development and learning about immunisations; I have piles and piles of papers to read, sign and send off!

There’s also a bunch of calendar appointments to make for the countless support groups and information sessions available (which usually I’d avoid like the plague but suddenly, and strangely, they actually seem interesting and maybe even fun!?!)

The most exciting bit of all this though, is registering Ayla with Births Deaths & Marriages… “Look here everyone, Hubby and I made a little person!”

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Ayla Rose

Monday 1 April, 2013: Birth Day.

Our beautiful baby girl, Ayla Rose was born today.

To us, she’s the picture of perfection; innocence, purity, peace, vulnerability and beauty.

I feel nothing but love and awe for having created her and I am so happy to have her in my life.