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Blessing in disguise

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Monday, 20 January 2014: Forty Two Weeks Old.

Ayla and I had a long list of errands planned for today but due to a mixup with car keys we found ourselves stranded at home during yet another rainy day.

But, what could have turned out to be a disaster was really an angel in disguise because being “stranded” meant Ayla had all day to hang out, have fun and love it up.

Being able to spend all day together, with no interruptions or appointments, I realised that despite my commitment to enjoy the moment and savour the little things, I’ve let life run away with me again.

Since early December I’ve given priority to things that don’t matter; issues from the past, other peoples journeys, my long term goals and stressing about irrelevant and insignificant things.

It’s meant that the days have started to flow into each other – each one looking very similar to the one before it – not due to the actual events happening but due to the silly things I’ve been focusing on.

So today was a day to regroup, to realign my priorities, to make it up to my little girl, and to re-ground myself in the now.

I realised that life is just far too short. At any moment my world could be turned completely upside down and while I like to think it’d never happen to me, why not live it like it could?

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Grounded

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Thursday, 12 December 2013; Two Hundred and Fifty Five Days Old.

I couldn’t sleep last night, I was tossing and turning and feeling anxious, but I had an overwhelming need to be close to Ayla.

So after a while I left an exhausted Hubby to sleep in peace while I snuck down the hall to Ayla’s room.

Ayla grounds me. She is my reminder of the bigger picture but at the same time she reminds me of the little things that matter.

As I sat in the glow of the nightlight and watched my baby sleep, I could actually feel my energy slowly shift from my head to my heart.

Ayla is one powerful little being, that’s for sure, and I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to thank her for coming into my world.

Not only has Ayla grounded me, she’s helped me heal and grow and become a better person in ways I never thought I could.

But I’m conscious that if Ayla can have such a massive impact on my moods and mind, then surely it works in the reverse too?

And if that’s the case, like I believe it is, then I have to try my best to be strong, and calm, and true whenever I’m with her because that’s what the very least she deserves.