Wednesday, 28 May 2014: One Year and Fifty Nine Days Old.
There’s absolutely no question about how being a mum has changed me.
In so many ways I see the world more clearly, I’m more conscious of myself and I feel like I can relate more to people around me.
I also feel stronger, calmer and more resilient and I find myself turning to focus on what matters instead of how a situation came to be.
Best of all about my mummy-transformation is that it’s happened while Hubby has been by my side.
He too has grown and changed, and together we find ourselves to be confident in our partnership, our goals and where we’re headed.
Of course we attribute a lot, if not all, of this newfound wisdom to Baby Ayla, who in all her innocence had opened our eyes to happiness and contentment in its purest form.
It’s hard to tell if we’ve been uniquely blessed or if there’s been a few strange twists of fate that have made the stars align for us, but we certainly know what we have is special and we’re not going to let a single thing ruin it.
Tuesday, 27 May 2014: One Year and Fifty Seven Days Old.
Ayla was like my miracle mood ring today!
I’d woken up frustrated and angry, probably due to a few bad nights sleep in a row.
I could tell my foul mood was oozing out of my skin, so when the time came to take Ayla to day care I was conscious that the tension was trapped inside my car!
In an attempt to distract Ayla from my mood I turned the radio on, hoping she would turn her ears to the noise and forget the steam coming out of mine.
Then suddenly something click inside me and I decided the easiest way to stop Ayla picking up the bad vibes was to turn them into good ones, or at least neutralise the negativity.
So I picked up the tune from the song that had just finished playing and started making up my own lyrics about Baby Ayla.
The words were silly and repetitive, my tone was terrible and the melody was almost replaced with shouting but Ayla loved it.
From her car seat Ayla started bobbing away, dropping her left shoulder, clapping her hands and kicking her feat.
Ayla’s enthusiasm did nothing but spur me on and by the time we arrived at day care I was puffed, and happy.
Here it is! A clip of Ayla’s first few steps.
Saturday, 17 May 2014: One Year and Forty Seven Days Old.
Ayla took her first, proper, unassisted steps today!!
Apparently Ayla did take a few steps a day care this week, but Hubby and I decided that it didn’t count unless we saw it for ourselves.
And today, we did!
It’s Saturday so Hubby was working and Ayla and I were busy pottering around the house catching up on a few chores.
Around lunch time Ayla and I decided to take a break, and I put a friends single mattress on the floor so I could stretch out my back and play with Ayla at the same time.
It didn’t take long for Ayla to realise the cushioning properties of the mattress and with minutes she was standing on it and clapping her hands.
I moved down to one end of the mattress and Ayla worked out why straight away; coming at me down the blue foamy runway with four tentative, wobbly, chubby-baby-leg steps!
I squealed with excitement and gave Ayla the biggest hug, which set her off on a pattern of stand-step-step-step-step-fall for the next half an hour.
All I could think of though was how much I wished Hubby was there to share in the moment, and I felt so sad for him missing out.
Thankfully Ayla was so happy to show off her skills that she let me take a quick video (will post it in a sec) so that Daddy could see our little TODDLER in action.
Ayla still isn’t walking around properly yet mind you, but it must only be days away! For now though Ayla seems content to limit her walking to padded surfaces which gives Hubby and I plenty of time to get ready for a whole new chapter.
Tuesday, 6 May 2014; One Year and Thirty Six Days Old.
Ayla seemed excited to go to school this morning, and when I handed her over to one of the day care mums there was not a tear in sight.
But it was when I picked Ayla up that I noticed a real difference; it was like my baby girl had grown years in just a few hours.
Ayla was happy to see me of course, but this afternoon her happiness seemed driven by a holistic, contented, mature kind of confidence rather than “oh my goodness I’m so glad you came back for me!”
I could see it in her face and feel it in her body, hear it in her voice and know it from the way she was excited to point things out that she’s been doing that day.
Ayla showed me some toys, her water bottle and introduced me to a friend before deciding she was ready to start blowing kisses and waving goodbye.
Then while we were driving home Ayla went into a big long story of baby talk, assumably telling me about her day, but best of all was when Ayla started laughing for what seemed like no reason at all!
Maybe she was laughing at her own joke, laughing at a funny memory from the day or laughing at something she saw out her window, but whatever it was that made her giggle, my heart melted to see her so happy.
Sunday, 27 April 2014: One Year, Three Weeks and Five Days Old.
I realised today that one day I’ll probably look back on this time of my life and think they were the best years I’ve ever had.
When that time comes, I don’t want to find myself wishing I’d realised it “back then”, I’d much rather feel lucky for having taken the time to appreciate it while I lived it.
This whole epiphany came about this afternoon while Hubby and I were doing reno’s in the backyard and Ayla was trying her darnedest to “help” us.
As usual I was worrying about the sun, the grass, the power tools, the heat, the attention Ayla wanted and wasn’t getting, and the priority I was putting on renovating instead of Ayla.
But all of a sudden it was like I was looking through a lens and I felt so very grateful.
Although things are crazy busy, overwhelming and sometimes stressful – trying to find the balance between motherhood, career, renovating and studying isn’t easy – I’m blessed with all the things that matter.
Friday, 26 April, 2014: One Year, Three Weeks and Three Days Old.
I’ve decided that floating around in the pool with my little family is my third most favourite thing to do.
It comes after baby cuddles (#1) and going on holidays (#2), but sneaks in just before long car trips (#4) and Sunday afternoon barbecues (#5).
For some reason the pool is a place where the outside world doesn’t reach us; we float, and we talk, and we share stories, we dream and we plan for the future.
And of course we watch Ayla splash and screech and jump and dive and kick and systematically work through every possible way to try and sink to the bottom.
I think I love it so much because there’s no technology at the pool – no phones, no TV, no internet – which means it the one place where we can all get together, enjoy each other’s company and relax, even The Dog and Cat Cat come and hang out as well!
Whatever it is, swimming in the pool was exactly what I needed this afternoon as Hubby and I recovered from our first (and probably last) night out on the town in years!