Wednesday, 4 September 2013: One Hundred and Fifty Seven Days Old.
I’m in awe of Ayla’s tiny perfect body.
Funnily enough though it’s the things I love most about Ayla’s body that I dislike the most about mine.
Her skin is pale and beautiful, her thighs are chubby and dimply, and her belly is so round and soft.
It’s a terrible thing, but self doubt and poor body image is something every girl will face in life, its just hard to believe that Ayla too will doubt the skin she’s in.
I dread the day when my gorgeous baby girl comes home in tears because somebody called her “fat” or “twiggy” or “whitey” or any other accusation of imperfection they felt was worthy of ridicule.
Children can be cruel, but the judgement of ourselves and others doesn’t stop at school.
How on earth I can teach Ayla to love, accept and respect herself, and do unto others the same?
Wednesday, 24 July 2013: One Hundred and Fourteen Days Old.
I had a bunch of errands to run today, and of course Baby Ayla came too!
I felt awful for her though as I had to hustle her in and out of the car over and over again, sometimes for a stop that took just a few minutes.
A couple of times I found myself torn between which “don’t” to abide by;
1) Don’t wake a sleeping baby
2) Don’t leave your baby in the car
Don’t worry – of course I took her with me – but it got me thinking about parenting’s unspoken rules.
As a parent I feel my actions are continuously on show, open for judgement by everyone and anyone who feels the need.
And that’s where the rules come in; everybody operates according to the set of rules that suit them best.
I know that every baby and every family is different, but it means there’s a massive void between what’s considered right, what’s wrong and what’s borderline.
I know I shouldn’t let myself buy in to other people’s judgement, but it’s hard! I only want the best for Ayla and this realm of motherhood is completely new to me.
So who am I to know what’s best? What gives me the right to ignore the advice and experience of others?
It’s certainly food for thought.