Love my Child


Monday, 17 February 2014: Forty Six Weeks Old.

I watched the first part of a new TV series about unwed, underage mothers in the late 1960’s tonight, and within second of it finishing I went straight in to see my sleeping Baby Ayla.

Every night since Ayla’s been born I’ve crept into her room while she’s slept, kissed her on the forehead and told her I love her.

But tonight, as well as whispering the usual “sweet dreams, sleep tight” I also thanked my Baby Ayla for coming into my life.

Within seconds of her birth and within moments of meeting her, my life changed forever; in just a few, fresh breaths of air Ayla somehow managed to open my eyes to a new world, a new range of emotions, a new set of passions and to a whole new me.

Within just those first few minutes, I became somebody who would sacrifice my life for another, if only that life was hers.

Watching the TV show tonight made me feel so unbelievably lucky and grateful for the world we live in, and so thankful that I get to spend countless moments with my Ayla.

Being a mother is so much more than I ever expected. As someone with no natural maternal drive the overwhelming all encompassing love I have for my daughter takes my breath away, every day.

Every new day brings new adventures and learnings and it’s a journey I am forever, eternally grateful for.


Tough Day

Monday, 20 May 2013: Seven Weeks Old.

Today was a bit of a tough day, but it’s only the first one so I’m not too worried, just looking forward to bed!

Ayla was unsettled for most of the day; she only had four 40 minute naps between waking up at 8.30 and going to bed at 9.

It’s unusual for her to be like that so it was pretty stressful. I was also a bit stressed about going into work for the first time since starting maternity leave.

I guess I was just a bit worried about what I’d find when I went back, whether I’d become obsolete or if all the pressure I’d felt in the months before leaving would come flooding back when I walked in.

But surprisingly it was the opposite. It was great to be among people I know, in an environment I’m familiar with, talking about all things NOT baby related.

It was refreshing and reassuring, and I’m now look forward to going back to work when I’m ready (in 11 months or so!)