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More than OK

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Sunday, 20 July 2014: One Year, One Hundred and Eleven Days Old.

As I go to bed tonight I feel so amazingly blessed to have such a beautiful, friendly, smart, gracious little girl for a daughter, and a kind, loving, honest and strong man for a husband.

I’m not quite sure what it is that’s making me feel the love but I had to drag myself away from Ayla’s bedside after I snuck in for her nightly kiss and “sweet dreams” wish, and now I feel heart is going to burst.

It’s intereseting because feeling “blessed” is something that’s attainable by all of us but I feel so very privledged to be aware enough to see it.

The past month or so has been quite tumultous, worry and stress and uncertainty has hung over us like a fading shadow, and even though logically we know everything will turn out just fine and that everyone will be alright, it’s been hard to let myself really feel it.

I think tonight I’ve just had a renewed sense that these really are some of the best days of our lives, and I’m determined to appreciate them while they’re here.

Hubby, Ayla and I are a fresh little family of three with so much excitement and potential on the horizion and so much support and strength from our friends and family behind us that no matter what happens we will be ok… More than ok.

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FORGOT

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Tuesday, 17 June 2014: One Year and Seventy Eight Days Old.

Oh my goodness I FORGOT Ayla today!

Although I’d been caught up late at work I still had to ring our designer to confirm a few things.

So, I made the call on my mobile on the way home and completely forgot to turn off toward Ayla’s day care.

It wasn’t until after the call had wrapped up and I was only a minute or so from home that I realised!

I think part of the reason I forgot was because in the back of my mind I knew Hubby was home earlier than usual, even though we’d discussed Ayla’s pick up just an hour earlier.

Anyway, I raced through the back streets and pulled up at day care, feeling guilty and a little but ashamed.

I felt guilty because I know most parents probably forget their kid at some point but I didn’t think it would happen to me so soon!

And I was ashamed because I let work take over my brain to the point I forgot to pick up my darling Baby Ayla.

It could have been worse I guess, I arrived before 5pm and Ayla was really none the wiser… If anything she was happier than usual to see me!

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Blessing in disguise

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Monday, 20 January 2014: Forty Two Weeks Old.

Ayla and I had a long list of errands planned for today but due to a mixup with car keys we found ourselves stranded at home during yet another rainy day.

But, what could have turned out to be a disaster was really an angel in disguise because being “stranded” meant Ayla had all day to hang out, have fun and love it up.

Being able to spend all day together, with no interruptions or appointments, I realised that despite my commitment to enjoy the moment and savour the little things, I’ve let life run away with me again.

Since early December I’ve given priority to things that don’t matter; issues from the past, other peoples journeys, my long term goals and stressing about irrelevant and insignificant things.

It’s meant that the days have started to flow into each other – each one looking very similar to the one before it – not due to the actual events happening but due to the silly things I’ve been focusing on.

So today was a day to regroup, to realign my priorities, to make it up to my little girl, and to re-ground myself in the now.

I realised that life is just far too short. At any moment my world could be turned completely upside down and while I like to think it’d never happen to me, why not live it like it could?