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Growing up

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Wednesday, 9 October 2013One Hundred and Ninety One Days Old.

When I think about Ayla growing up, I feel my heart split in two!

One half of me is so excited to watch her grow into her own person and discover the world one new experience at a time.
But the other half of me is freaking out because I’m scared that one day I’ll blink and Ayla will be all grown up and I’ll be wondering where all the time went.
I know it’s silly. I know I can’t keep my Baby Ayla small forever and that every stage of her life will be just as exciting and wonderful as the last, but I already feel like its happening too fast!
I think it’s all come about because Ayla’s on the brink of getting her first tooth.
I’m super excited about it but I know that means she’s not a newborn anymore.
Before long Ayla will have all her teeth, she’ll be eating big kid food and she’ll be sitting on the bench chatting away to me as I cook tea.
I’ve just loved these early baby days, more than I ever expected. They’ve been the start of a new life – for all three of us – and they’ve been the most precious, special and fragile moments of my life.
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Six months old

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Tuesday, 1 October 2013: Six Months Old.

Ayla is SIX MONTHS OLD today!

It’s hard to believe that half a year ago Ayla came into the world and made us the bright, tight knit and focused little family we are today.

Six months has gone so fast! But it’s strange because at the same time I can hardly remember what life was like before Ayla.

Ayla’s taught me so much about the world, life, relationships, and myself and I’m undoubtedly a better, stronger and wiser person than I was six months ago.

I’ve heard people describe motherhood as being “the best job in the world”, and while its still early days yet I do know that the past six months have been the most special time of my life.

I’ve watched Ayla, the human being who Hubby and I created, grow from being a tiny, burry eyed, wrinkly little newborn with a squawky cry into a happy, friendly little girl with oodles of personality and individuality.

I love you Ayla Rose xx

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Watermelon

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Tuesday, 30 July; One Hundred and Nineteen Days Old.

Over the past few weeks Ayla’s briefly tried a salt-free pretzel, a bit of banana and a pizza shape with the seasoning licked off, but today she had some watermelon!

It was so cute; we have a Tommee Tippee food net thing and we used it for the first time today.

She sucked away at the juicy watermelon inside the net for ages, and she wasn’t discreet about it either… Her sucking nearly echoed under the patio!

At one stage, Ayla dropped the net beside her and when I held it up in front if her Ayla reached out and grabbed it with both hands before jamming it back in her mouth.

It was so adorable, watching her taste and lick and suck and enjoy something as simple as watermelon.

I can’t wait to try her on other foods, but at the same time I’m sad she’s growing up so quickly 😦

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Words of mummy wisdom

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Sunday, 28 July 2013: One Hundred and Sixteen Days Old

I found myself giving words of mummy wisdom today!

And, for the first time, I finally found myself feeling like a mum… An actual MUM.

Hubby and I have some friends staying with us for a couple of weeks and they’re set to become parents for the very first time!

So while the boys were out fishing today we girls had a chance to catch up.

Of course the conversation eventually turned to babies (but not before property, family and fashion) and I was able to impart my knowledge on all things newborn – from poo, to clothes, to sleeping.

It was a conversation I never imagined myself being able to have but it was one I’d glady embark on again… I’m so excited to share motherhood with my bestie, who would have thought?!

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One Handed

Tuesday, 28 May 2013: Fifty-Seven Days Old.

It’s amazing the number of things you can do one-handed

From brushing teeth, hanging out washing, shopping, vacuuming… The list goes on!

Mind you, my back is killing me!

Not only did having a baby mean I suddenly became a pseudo amputee, it’s also introduced me to muscles I never knew existed.

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Wonder Week

Saturday, 11 May 2013: Forty Days Old.

If I were to guess I’d say Ayla has just come out of her first “Wonder Week” (a development growth spurt).

Last week she was a bit more grizzly than usual, sooking and crying for no apparent reason and feeding and sleeping heaps.

And over the last couple of days I’ve noticed she seems much more like a baby and less like a newborn… It’s like she went into a cocoon and came out as a beautiful butterfly!

– She’s been much more alert during awake time and she definitely seems to be awake more often.
– She’s responding to us when we play with her and she loves it when we sing and touch her at the same time.
– She’s been practicing her smiles and is consistently reacting to things she finds fun or funny (yesterday she even tried laughing!)
– She’s been happy and content to spend some time just hanging out and watch the world around her.
– She’s been quiet, and calm, and just so happy… She makes my heart want to burst with an overload of pride and love.

It’s been beautiful and rewarding to see these changes, but scary that they happened overnight!

Here’s a link to some info on Wonder Weeks: http://m.essentialbaby.com.au/baby/baby-stages-of-development/the-wonder-weeks-20120426-1xni4.html

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Nothing Else

Friday, 10 May 2013: Thirty-Nine Days Old.

“The motherhood bond” kicked into top gear today.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve loved Ayla since the minute she was born but today it was like being struck by lightning.

I’ve never felt anything this strong before. I will do anything for this kid; die for her, kill for her and love her unconditionally until there’s no more forever.

I’m not sure what made the lightning strike, but it was definitely a day I’ll remember always….

Firstly we took a walk in the Botanic Gardens, then headed over to the beach where we hung out like a couple of old friends.

But best of all, when we got home I took Ayla in the shower with me for the first time. Might not sound like much but she was so vulnerable and beautiful, it was the most precious experience we’ve shared yet and one I’ll treasure always.

I hope I never forget how she clung to my skin, blissfully quiet and staring up at me, her tongue instinctively licking at the stray drops running down her face.

It’s these little things that matter, nothing else. I love you baby girl xx

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Fuzz Ball

Thursday, 9 May 2013: Thirty-Eight Days Old.

Ayla’s started to lose her hair and now she looks like a little fuzz ball!

I noticed the hair at the back of her head was a bit frizzy this morning, and when I put her down for an arvo nap I saw a patch of hair in the bassinet.

Now I’ve realised what’s going on I’ve noticed little fuzzy patches all over her head! She even has a widows peak starting to appear (like Daddy lol).

In order to remember these early days (and before she goes bald!) we took a tiny swatch of her hair. Now, in years to come, we can show her the hair that was on her head the day she was born.

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Shattered

Wednesday, 9 May 2013: Thirty-Seven Days Old.

It’s amazing how quickly your confidence as a new mum can be shattered.

Yesterday, I was on top of the world; I felt fantastic, I was in control, and I was calm and confident.

Then at about 9.50am that confidence was shattered like a champagne glass dropped from a fourth storey window.

Trigger? Ayla flung herself off the couch onto the hard tiled floor.

First of all, she’s ok. A little bruise on her elbow and a 30 second cry before she forgot all about it.

I was not ok!

I spent the rest of the day riddled with guilt, overwhelming self-doubt and fear….
Why did I put her there?
Why didn’t I grab her?
Did she hit her head?
How do I say I’m sorry?
Is sorry even good enough?

I know it won’t be the first time she’ll hurt herself, but I can only hope the guilt gets lessened and the self-doubt stays at bay!

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When Daddy Comes Home

Tuesday, 7 May 2013: Thirty-Six Days Old.

My favourite part of the day (and Ayla’s too!) is when Daddy comes home.

When Hubby walks through the front door all tired and dusty, with bits of concrete stuck in his hair, it feels just like the movies!

It’s so beautiful to watch his face light up when he sees us, like he’s seeing us for the first time in years .

And the love in his eyes when he picks up Ayla to give her a kiss and cuddle just makes my heart melt.

But best of all is when I get to give him a big hug and ask him how his day was 🙂