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Counting chickens

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Saturday, 31 May 2014; One Year and Sixty Two Days Old.

Ayla has officially “slept through” two nights in a row now, but I’m not counting my chickens just yet.

While I haven’t actually had to get up to Ayla during the night, she’s still woken at least once which technically isn’t sleeping through, but it’s certainly an improvement!

Instead of Ayla’s usual midnight cries that require my attention, Ayla’s been making more of a moaning, unsettled sound the last two nights, that sound like she might even been dreaming.

As I write this I realise how bad it sounds to say “I heard my poor baby moaning in the middle of night but I just left her coz she wasn’t crying” but in reality Ayla makes a monotone moaning sound most nights as she drifts off to sleep (my mum has a theory that it’s Ayla’s version of humming to herself, but whatever the reason it seems to settle her.)

Anyway, today I realised that Ayla’s full night’s sleep is probably, unfortunately, attributed to a new illness because today she’s had a mild temperature and been clingy and whingey all day.

I hope it doesn’t develop – my goodness we’ve had our fair share of viruses this past year – but for now it looks like a headache and sore throat which is certainly not fun for anyone.

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Screaming

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Monday, 28 April 2014: One Year, Three Weeks and Six Days Old.

I don’t know what was wrong with Ayla – she’s still unsettled tonight -but she keeps screaming and crying and refusing to lie down.

Last night I was up with her til 1am and the Hubby took over until 3am, but Ayla then woke at 5am, 6am and 7am anyway.

It was tough! Ayla had a temperature but no other symptoms, Panadol didn’t work and sleep seemed impossible.

This morning Ayla was tired (weren’t we all) but she seemed well enough to go to day care. Two hours after dropping her off though, I got “the call” asking me to come and get her and take her to the docs because they couldn’t settle her, no matter what they tried.

The doctor checked Ayla’s ears, throat, nose, stomach and kidneys but all we’re clear and healthy so she sent us home to get some rest.

But still, Ayla screamed! For two hours I cradled her and rocked her hoping she would settle but it was futile… Ayla was not happy.

I eventually took Ayla outside to play where distraction seemed to keep her screams at bay.

But by the time Hubby got home from work Ayla was back to grizzling and crying and screaming and we know we have another long night ahead of us.

After dinner I sent a zombied Hubby off to bed while I sat up with a teary Ayla.

Ayla kept passing out from sheet exhaustion only to wake every fifteen minutes or so in what looks like pain.

I’ve just put her down now, at 10.30pm.

I don’t know if it’s teething, a delayed upset tummy from the formula, another UTI or something else, but whatever it is Ayla is sad, and hurting and dog-tired, and I am too.

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Argh!!

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Wednesday, 16 April 2014: One Year, Two Weeks and One Day Old.

Argh!! I’m so tired, so sick, stressed and my boobs are turning into empty sacks while I watch.

I’m over of having sickness in this household. Over of sleepless nights. I feel absolutely terrible and I can feel my body shutting down!!

So much for the “solution” to a full nights sleep I thought I’d discovered yesterday…

After not going to bed until 9pm Ayla was up at midnight, then again 2.45am, 4.00am, 5.00am and 6.00am.

At the midnight feed I gave Ayla another bottle, then at 2.45am I gave her breast milk.

Then after that there’s was nothing more I could do except lie listening to Ayla cry through the monitor, waiting for her go back to sleep herself.

Hubby was right there with me of course and he was willing to get up and give resettling his best shot, but Ayla’s tears are for mummy, nothing else.

I can understand where Ayla’s coming from, everything she’s experienced in life so far has been turned on its head and if I were her I’d be wanting cuddles too.

But where I’d usually enjoy our quite closeness in the wee hours, last night my body just wouldn’t let me.

Finally my fever has broken but I’m sicker today than yesterday! The antibiotics are making me ill and I feel weak from having had no appetite for days.

To add insult to injury I feel terrible for Baby Ayla who needs me to be there for her as she adjusts to her new routine but I can’t even provide her with the milk she’s relied on her whole life.

It sucks. I really want to be writing about happy things, new memories and fun adventures but it’s seems to be a downward slope at the moment! I’m sure things will turn around soon, and hopefully I’ll feel better after some sleep!

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Ten hours!

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Tuesday, 15 April 2014: One Year and Two Weeks Old.

I don’t want to jinx myself buuutttt Ayla slept ten hours straight last night!

The only thing I can attribute it to is the bottle of diluted cows milk she had at bed time and the zzzz’s were like music to my aching tonsilitis ears.

Mind you, that doesn’t meant I slept for 10 hours even though I did go to bed at 8pm when Ayla did.

No, instead I was up half the night nursing fever, chills, pain and killer night sweats.

But still, is it a new leaf?! Have we found an answer for a full night’s sleep? Gosh I hope so.

Even better than Ayla’s overnight sleep was her three hour nap today, which I took FULL advantage of by spending it sound asleep on the couch.

I had the day off work and wasn’t sure what to do with Ayla, whether to get up early and take her to day care like usual, or let her (and me!) sleep until we were ready the take the day as it comes.

I chose the latter.

It meant we didn’t get up til after 8am, and at 10.30am, Ayla was back snoozing in her cot!

When she woke at 1.30pm I opted to take her to day care so I could continue my wallowing in peace, but alas I felt so guilty for dropping her off while I was at home the sleep I drifted into was fitful.

Never mind. Another early night, 10 hours of uninterrupted sleep and a good coffee in the morning and I should be right! (Touch wood).

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Tired

Sunday, 28 April 2013: Twenty-Seven Days Old.

Never in my life have I been as tired as I have been in the last 24 hours.

I think all the activity of the last few days has finally caught up with me; BBQ on Thurs, Ayla’s blessing on Fri, then yesterday we went out for lunch and I went for a walk in the evening.

Ayla’s sleeping fine through the night, but the whole “sleep when baby sleeps” thing during the day sounds easier than it is!

Because I want to spend as much time as possible with Ayla when she’s awake, I’ve been waiting until she sleeps before I feed myself, have a shower or do the things I need to do around the house.

But now, I’ve got myself so exhausted and over tired that even when I try to nap my mind won’t switch off and my eyes won’t say shut!

Finger crossed for a dream-filled night tonight! Zzzzzzzzzzz