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More than OK

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Sunday, 20 July 2014: One Year, One Hundred and Eleven Days Old.

As I go to bed tonight I feel so amazingly blessed to have such a beautiful, friendly, smart, gracious little girl for a daughter, and a kind, loving, honest and strong man for a husband.

I’m not quite sure what it is that’s making me feel the love but I had to drag myself away from Ayla’s bedside after I snuck in for her nightly kiss and “sweet dreams” wish, and now I feel heart is going to burst.

It’s intereseting because feeling “blessed” is something that’s attainable by all of us but I feel so very privledged to be aware enough to see it.

The past month or so has been quite tumultous, worry and stress and uncertainty has hung over us like a fading shadow, and even though logically we know everything will turn out just fine and that everyone will be alright, it’s been hard to let myself really feel it.

I think tonight I’ve just had a renewed sense that these really are some of the best days of our lives, and I’m determined to appreciate them while they’re here.

Hubby, Ayla and I are a fresh little family of three with so much excitement and potential on the horizion and so much support and strength from our friends and family behind us that no matter what happens we will be ok… More than ok.

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The stars align

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Wednesday, 28 May 2014: One Year and Fifty Nine Days Old.

There’s absolutely no question about how being a mum has changed me.

In so many ways I see the world more clearly, I’m more conscious of myself and I feel like I can relate more to people around me.

I also feel stronger, calmer and more resilient and I find myself turning to focus on what matters instead of how a situation came to be.

Best of all about my mummy-transformation is that it’s happened while Hubby has been by my side.

He too has grown and changed, and together we find ourselves to be confident in our partnership, our goals and where we’re headed.

Of course we attribute a lot, if not all, of this newfound wisdom to Baby Ayla, who in all her innocence had opened our eyes to happiness and contentment in its purest form.

It’s hard to tell if we’ve been uniquely blessed or if there’s been a few strange twists of fate that have made the stars align for us, but we certainly know what we have is special and we’re not going to let a single thing ruin it.

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Christmas Eve

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Tuesday, 24 December 2013: Two Hundred and Sixty Seven Days Old.

My little family and I have had a lovely, first, Christmas Eve together.

After a slow and relaxing morning, Hubby and I dressed Ayla in her Christmas onesie and the three of us set out with a car full of presents.

We spent the afternoon catching up with a few close friends, dropping in to see them at home, give them a gift and of course a last minute Merry Christmas kiss on the cheek.

Ayla was spoiled with love, not to mention the presents, and Hubby and I welcomed the chance to spend a few hours with some of the special people who make up our pseudo “family”.

It was late by the time we got home though so it wasn’t long before Ayla was tucked away in bed… her first Christmas Eve.

Once Ayla was sound asleep, Santa was quick to arrive! He dropped off some presents and filled Ayla’s stocking right to the brim before polishing off a slice of ginger ripple cake.

Eek! I can hardly wait for tomorrow!

Not just for the excitement of Ayla first Christmas, but because we’re so lucky to have each other and we have so much to be happy about.

And, I know our little house will be filled with all the things that matter most at Christmas time; love, happiness, peace, joy and family.

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Shiny gold star

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Saturday, 23 November 2013: Two Hundred and Thirty Seven Days Old.

All I want to do is grab Ayla and give her a cuddle, a kiss, look into her eyes, tell her I love her, and give her a shiny gold star… anything and everything to make her understand how grateful I am for her.

I thought I knew what it was to be happy and feel blessed, but the light Ayla puts in my life is like no other.

I don’t know if it’s because Ayla’s such a good baby or if it’s just part and parcel of being a mum, but I am so proud of her and so thankful she’s my daughter.

Ayla is clever, and kind, and patient. She’s friendly, playful and happy. She’s wise and innocent and modest all at the same time. She’s vulnerable but strong, adaptable, generous, honest…. Ayla is everything I hope I can be one day and she’s not even eight months old yet!

Just like when I look at Hubby sometimes and I think my heart will burst, every time I’ve looked at Ayla these past twenty four hours in particular I almost believe my chest is about to explode and shoot out tonnes of sparkling, rainbow coloured happy-love-dust.

I really am blessed. I am lucky. I am grateful. I am thankful. I am not taking any of this for granted and I am appreciating and valuing every moment I have with my beautiful baby girl and my wonderful little family.