0

D-day disaster

20140304-212843.jpg

Tuesday, 4 March 2014: Three Hundred and Thirty Seven Days Old.

Today was D-day (“D” standing for Day Care”) and it ended in disaster.

The morning started off smoothly and to plan; Ayla had slept well, she had some breakfast, a bath, and I even got her day care bag all ready complete with labeled clothes and expressed milk.

At around 10.30am Ayla was looking tired, and although she was rubbing her eyes a little earlier than I expected I decided to put her down for a nap and planned to get stuck into my uni readings, preparing the dinner and doing some washing while she slept.

But by midday Ayla still hadn’t slept – apart from accidentally falling asleep for 10 minutes while I was feeding her – andI was completely frazzled.

The washing was beeping, the frying pan was burnt from being on without having anything in it, the flies were trying to get to my half chopped veggies, I hadn’t gone near my computer and Ayla was crying. It was overload to my stress levels.

Ayla was just really clingy, she would settle in my arms but as soon as I put her down she would start coughing then wake up and cry. This cycle went on, and on, and on, until Ayla’s eyes were red ringed and darkly shadowed and my nerves were completely shot.

I knew there was something wrong that was keeping Ayla from sleep, whether it was a virus, her teeth or something else, which made me feel bad for her and had me questioning my own judgement about leaving her at day care while I went off to uni.

In the end, I couldn’t bring myself to take Ayla to her first afternoon at day care when she was so tired, upset and irritable so I made the decision to give Week One at uni a miss in order to take care of my baby girl.

Although I was happy with my decision, I think all the stress and pressure of the last couple of weeks finally caught up with me and I found myself in tears anyway.

Thankfully, like a knight in shining armour, Hubby came to the rescue by taking the afternoon off work to come home and look after Ayla.

It was a gesture so small and simple but it meant I got a whole three hours to myself to de-mummify, engage with a world outside my four walls and do something purely for me.

We’ll just have to try day care again next week.

0

36 hours

20131018-212838.jpg

Friday, 18 October 2013: Two Hundred and One Days Old.

It’s been over 36 hours without a nappy now and all is going well.

Ayla had the best nights sleep in ages last night; instead of waking every two to four hours, she slept eight hours and then another four.

I felt like a new woman this morning and I’m sure Ayla did too. Her rash was looking MUCH better and her morning smiles were proof.

But as the day wore on and got hotter, so too did the nappy rash.

We had a lunch date to attend so instead of nappies I dressed Ayla in tiny cotton underpants that I changed after every wee.

Ayla was the epitome of bravery and dignity the whole time. She didn’t complain or bat an eyelid when I stripped her down in the dress store, or when she wet herself at sushi… She was happy and smiling and glad to be alive.

I think Ayla’s been enjoying all the naked time, and I know she’s loved the fun new positions and activities we’ve been doing to minimise the damage caused by impending accidents.

I feel like I’m making it up to her, slowly, and it’s good to know she’s on the mend, but its such an awful uncomfortable thing that I wish I could snap my fingers and take it all away.