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Advice

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Tuesday, 29 October 2013: Two Hundred and Eleven Days Old.

Nearly seven months ago, when Ayla was born, my life changed forever.

At first, I had no idea what was going on; I was riddled with insecurities and self-induced pressure, and every day brought new challenges that had me wondering what on earth I’d got myself into.

Now however, I understand that these unsure decisions and self doubt is all part of being a mum, and I know I probably won’t escape the voice inside my head that says “are you sure about that?” or “if only…”.

I find it comforting to feel confident in my own vulnerability and today, for the first time, I found myself in a position to give some advice to a new mum with a four month old daughter.

While I’m far from being any kind of expert, I thought I’d share this advice here too because I’m sure I will need to refer back to it many times in the future.

Firstly, don’t feel bad! Your story is exactly like mine and I’m sure we can’t be the only ones.

“Back in the day” there were no baby rules; mums did what felt right and what worked for them.

But today, new mums like us seem to be given an unpublished “book” that dictates all the things we should and shouldn’t be doing with our little ones. But honestly, I’m sure that even if we DID follow the rules set out in this book to a ‘T’ we’d still make mistakes, and that’s ok.

Why? Because every baby, every mum, every family is different, and rules are really more like guidelines anyway – aren’t they?

Before we know it, our babies will be big. They’ll be running around and bossing us about and they won’t need us much at all.

So don’t feel bad for cuddling them to sleep, soothing them with the breast or planning your day around their naps if thats what feels right. One day soon they will grow out of it. Yes, you might look back and think “it could’ve been easier if I did it differently” but why not worry about that if it happens?

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In my arms

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Monday, 16 September 2013: Twenty Four Weeks Old.

One of my most precious times with Ayla is when she falls asleep in my arms.

As she lay with me this afternoon, naked with a full belly of milk, it was like time stood still.

I ran my fingers gently over her skin and through her hair, I brushed her cheek with the back of my hand and I drank in her delicious baby smell.

I realised that Ayla is so vulnerable and helpless, but to look at her sleeping you’d never know… She’s a picture of pure serenity with no fear or concept of her fragility.

In my arms, Ayla feels safe and protected and she can sleep soundly knowing that I would do anything for her.