Thursday, 1 May 2014; Thirteen Months Old.

Ayla was given the all clear for measles today.

I wasn’t surprised because Ayla’s hardly seemed sick at all, apart from the rash and it’s itchiness.

Ayla was diagnosed with, wait for it, a “virus” and my theory is that it is actually Hand Foot and Mouth, which is going around at her day care centre, but for some reason it’s presenting strangely on Ayla.

Gosh, all this sickness has been stressful; not just because I hate seeing Ayla sick, and not just because my grand plan of returning to work with gusto has been shattered, but all the not knowing and speculation about what could be wrong is really taking it out of me.

As an anxious person it takes every fibre in my body to stay calm and keep on top of the what if’s.

I try my best to stay away from google… but it’s hard. And it seems as though everyone I speak to has a new suggestion I hadn’t yet considered and I find myself returning to the drawing board again and again.

Ultimately, I have to just focus on Ayla’s level of sickness and fortunately in this case it’s low.

Sure the rash is itchy and unsightly but Ayla is still happy and playful, chatty and curious, so I guess on the scale of things we’re good.