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Counting chickens

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Saturday, 31 May 2014; One Year and Sixty Two Days Old.

Ayla has officially “slept through” two nights in a row now, but I’m not counting my chickens just yet.

While I haven’t actually had to get up to Ayla during the night, she’s still woken at least once which technically isn’t sleeping through, but it’s certainly an improvement!

Instead of Ayla’s usual midnight cries that require my attention, Ayla’s been making more of a moaning, unsettled sound the last two nights, that sound like she might even been dreaming.

As I write this I realise how bad it sounds to say “I heard my poor baby moaning in the middle of night but I just left her coz she wasn’t crying” but in reality Ayla makes a monotone moaning sound most nights as she drifts off to sleep (my mum has a theory that it’s Ayla’s version of humming to herself, but whatever the reason it seems to settle her.)

Anyway, today I realised that Ayla’s full night’s sleep is probably, unfortunately, attributed to a new illness because today she’s had a mild temperature and been clingy and whingey all day.

I hope it doesn’t develop – my goodness we’ve had our fair share of viruses this past year – but for now it looks like a headache and sore throat which is certainly not fun for anyone.

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Oops

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Friday, 30 April 2014: One Year and Sixty One Days Old.

Ayla learned how to say “oops” today… “Oops” and “banana.

While Ayla understands the meaning of “oops” and uses it when necessary, because it also doubles as a very fun word to say she’s sound like a broken record.

“Oops” is ringing in my ears at the moment but I love it; Ayla is so proud of her new word and it gets such a great reaction from Hubby and I that I totally understand its overuse.

What cracked me up the most today though was when Ayla purposefully dropped her cup just so she could say “oops”, shrug and show the palms of her hands.

Gosh she’s the cutest kid ever! Lol.

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Piggy tails

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Thursday, 29 May 2014: One Year and Sixty Days Old.

I picked Ayla up today to discover piggy tails in her hair!!

Oh my gosh, it was adorable, and I think it might become Ayla’s customary ‘do.

It made me realise that day care is definitely shaping the person Ayla is becoming.

It’s a good thing, I think. If it weren’t for day care I probably wouldn’t have thought to try a pony tail, let alone piggy tails!

I guess sending Ayla today care is particularly useful because I have no idea or experience with anything child related.

For example I probably wouldn’t have thought to try finger painting with Ayla but apparently she loves it!

As good as day care is though, there’s a part of me, deep down, that is sad I’m not discovering these things on my own.

I would love to have seen Ayla’s face the first time she put her hands in a tub of paint, and it would have been so exciting to realise her hair was finally long enough to style!

But I guess it’s all part and parcel of modern day life. So few people are in a position to stay at home with their kids, and I have to remind myself how lucky I was to have a whole year at home.

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The stars align

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Wednesday, 28 May 2014: One Year and Fifty Nine Days Old.

There’s absolutely no question about how being a mum has changed me.

In so many ways I see the world more clearly, I’m more conscious of myself and I feel like I can relate more to people around me.

I also feel stronger, calmer and more resilient and I find myself turning to focus on what matters instead of how a situation came to be.

Best of all about my mummy-transformation is that it’s happened while Hubby has been by my side.

He too has grown and changed, and together we find ourselves to be confident in our partnership, our goals and where we’re headed.

Of course we attribute a lot, if not all, of this newfound wisdom to Baby Ayla, who in all her innocence had opened our eyes to happiness and contentment in its purest form.

It’s hard to tell if we’ve been uniquely blessed or if there’s been a few strange twists of fate that have made the stars align for us, but we certainly know what we have is special and we’re not going to let a single thing ruin it.

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Miracle mood

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Tuesday, 27 May 2014: One Year and Fifty Seven Days Old.

Ayla was like my miracle mood ring today!

I’d woken up frustrated and angry, probably due to a few bad nights sleep in a row.

I could tell my foul mood was oozing out of my skin, so when the time came to take Ayla to day care I was conscious that the tension was trapped inside my car!

In an attempt to distract Ayla from my mood I turned the radio on, hoping she would turn her ears to the noise and forget the steam coming out of mine.

Then suddenly something click inside me and I decided the easiest way to stop Ayla picking up the bad vibes was to turn them into good ones, or at least neutralise the negativity.

So I picked up the tune from the song that had just finished playing and started making up my own lyrics about Baby Ayla.

The words were silly and repetitive, my tone was terrible and the melody was almost replaced with shouting but Ayla loved it.

From her car seat Ayla started bobbing away, dropping her left shoulder, clapping her hands and kicking her feat.

Ayla’s enthusiasm did nothing but spur me on and by the time we arrived at day care I was puffed, and happy.

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New words

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Monday, 26 May 2014: One Year and Eight Weeks Old.

Ayla’s learned heaps of new words lately!

She says “bottle” and “water” and of course “water bottle”.

Ayla also says “biscuit” and “chippie” and “shhh”.

These words of course go with yum, mum, dad, dog, cat cat, grandma, grandad and bubba.

I think I even heard Ayla say “Ayla” today, but there’s countless words like that every day!

Ayla’s still not at the stage of saying a words when I ask her to, but she’s definitely building a good vocabulary!

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Passion for fashion

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Sunday, 25 May 2014: One Year and Fifty Three Days Old.

Ayla’s developing a passion for fashion and I think the only thing stopping her from walking at home was a pair of sparkly shoes!!

This afternoon Ayla came crawling out of her room a hundred miles an hour dragging a t-shirt that she brought straight to me, handing it over expectedly.

I asked Ayla if she wanted me to help her put the shirt on to which she replied with a shriek and a smile.

I pulled the shirt over her head and buttoned it up at the shoulder; Ayla then stood back and grabbed at it , looking down as if to check that it looked alright!!

Then later this evening Ayla was playing quietly in her room, almost too quietly, so I stuck my head in to check on her.

I saw Ayla sitting on the floor surrounded by shoes, her shoe draw open, and she was trying to put a little pink sandal on her foot.

Ayla caught a glimpse of me and immediately held out the shoe so I could help her with it.

With one shoe on we went looking for the matching other, then when they were both on Ayla held my hands and charged out to the lounge room to show her Daddy.

After a brief parade she took me back into her room and selected a new pair of shoes, which again I helped her put on and she again showed them off to her Dad.

The third pair of shoes were sequinned, sparkly black slippers and Ayla seemed to like them the most.

She was almost running down the hall to show her Dad and when she finally got to him Ayla started stomping her feet, almost as if she was tap dancing with excitement.

Then I let her go.

Ayla walked the whole way down the hall by herself, and then back again.

Then she walked around the lounge to her toys.

It was as if all the encouragement Ayla needed to walk at home was a pair of pretty shoes, which of course is completely understandable… It’s amazing what a gorgeous pair of shoes can achieve 😉

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Kids party

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Saturday 24 May 2014: one Year and Fifty Three Days Old.
Ayla went to her first kids party today, and I’m sure it was only the first of countless kids birthdays that will become part of the weekend landscape for Hubby and I.

Our friends have a now three year old daughter and a now one year old son with birthdays just a fortnight apart, and today Ayla joined them to celebrate, play with friends, eat ice cream cake and play party games!

There was also a petting zoo at the party that kept most of the kids busy, although Ayla seemed a little tentative when she went in with her Daddy.

It might have just been all the excitement in the air that made Ayla think twice about touching the bunnies and bantams on Hubby lap, but she certainly loved watching the other kids squeal with delight as they cuddled little furry bundles of joy.

Ayla watched on intently as the bigger kids played pass the parcel, and looked like she wanted to jump in and blow out the candles when the cake came out.

Ayla also joined in a game of musical statues, squealing in disappointment whenever the music stopped!

After a fun couple of hours it eventually became time to go so we bundled a tired little baby Ayla out of the house with a lolly-box under one arm and a balloon tied to the other.

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Little helper

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Friday, 24 May 2014: One Year and Fifty Three Days Old.

Ayla is such a little helper, it’s adorable.

This morning as we were getting ready for the day Ayla picked up a tissue and started wiping at some spilt water in the kitchen.

A little later Ayla had found a baby wipe and was pretending to blow her nose and wipe her face with it, complete with realistic sniffing sound effects.

While I putting on my make up in the bedroom Ayla was picking out shoes for me to wear, showing me each one she found as if to ask “these ones mum?”.

Then when the time came for me to put Ayla’s shoes on she wanted to do it all herself, but I settled for a compromise and let her try to do the left one while I did the right.

Cutest of all was this evening though when Ayla and I got home to discover a parcel of new little girls clothes sent to us from her Granddad.

Ayla, in true helper style, started trying to put them on… All of them… At once!

Ayla loved her new clothes so much that after realising she couldn’t wear them decided to kiss and hug instead, before trying to put them away in my handbag.

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Flat

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Thursday, 22 May 2014: One Year and Fifty Two Days Old.

Today marked the second time in a week someone has commented on my flat chest.

Sure, I’d sort of realised that since going back to work my boobs had shrunk a bit, but I didn’t realise it was so noticeable’

Admittedly I’ve had to pack a whole bunch of bras away until such a time as I become pregnant again, but it turns out my decreasing milk supply is also resulting in ill-fitting frocks!

I’m not quite sure how I feel about it to be honest.

I’ve always been proud of my figure, attributing my boobs to being one of my best physical features, so now that they’re almost gone (like, actually gone) I’m definitely disappointed.

I also feel torn between sadness and pride; sad that my boobs are disappearing into oblivion before my eyes, but proud that I’ve been able to use them to sustain a human life, Ayla’s life, for nearly fourteen months.

I’m sad about the change in my figure, but I’m also proud for having lost my baby weight in a healthy, natural way.

And, I’m sad about the loss of my “youth”… The days of squeezing into too tight tops just to see how many second glances I’d get are LONG gone, but I’m proud to have swapped that for a gorgeous baby girl and her adoring father, and proud that I’m proud of that!